Alaska's Mistake
by Robincall22
Summary: When Alaska feels like life can't get any worse, what does she do? She makes it worse.
1. Chapter 1

Today I found out that one of my best friends, who is one of the happiest people ever to walk this earth, purposely cut her arm last year. I wasn't friends with her then, but I want to know why she did it, and sometimes writing can help me come to conclusions I never would have come to on my own. Please, if you ever have felt alone in this cruel and evil world, please know that you're not. I don't know who you are, but I love you.


	2. Giving Up

I cried. I sobbed. How could this happen to me; how could my life be so utterly pathetic?! It wasn't fair. That was it. It just wasn't any fair. No one but the teachers knew about...the incident. It was about five years ago, but it still hurt. It was my fault! She could've called 911. Little kids call 911 all the time; what made me any different? No matter how many times my dad and my therapist told me it wasn't my fault, I still blamed myself.

I cried harder, tightening my grip on what was in my hand. The kids at school were making fun of me for my name today. They called me ugly, stupid, and three of my supposed "friends" even called me a slut. My best friend, or who I thought was my best friend, even told me to kill myself. I will say I thought about it. I seriously did. Just one flick of a wrist and a knife and POOF, no more Alaska Young. It seemed perfect to me. But no. What I wanted to get rid of wasn't me. It was the pain. I had control over the pain now. If I just diverted the inside pain to outside pain, then I could control it. That was what I wanted to do. Control the pain. It was the only thing I could do to control it. So with that thought, I lowered what was in my hand until it rested on my arm. Which arm, I can't remember. They both would get the same treatment. It didn't matter what arm I started with. Did it? I didn't know. It didn't matter to me. So I acted before I could change my mind.

One of my best friends told me yesterday that almost this exact thing happened to her. That her best friend told her to kill herself, and that three of her other friends called her a slut. So she cut up her arm. She is the happiest person I have ever met, and I can't bear the thought that she would want to do something like that to herself. I want to kill anyone who ever made her anything but happy. I was shaking with anger when she told me. Not at her, but at the people who said that sort of stuff to her. If any of you ever feel sad or feel like you might want to do something like that to yourself, review, PM me. I will be a friend where you have none. I know what it's like to feel as though no one likes me and I know how it feels to want to die. I will be your friend. Please let me be your friend and help you out of this desolate place.


	3. Lilly

**Hey guys! Today is where my OC is going to come in. Please remember that this is not what happened, but I wish could've happened. If course, I wish that my friend had never cut her arm, but time cannot be reversed, much as I wish it could, for hundreds of reasons. The OC is going to portray me, sort of. My real name will not be in here, DUH. As much as I like all of you on here, you can never be too careful.**

Gritting my teeth, I pressed down on my arm. The knife cut my skin, and blood trickled down my arm. I pulled the blade along horizontally, hoping that I wouldn't slice open a vein. I made a few more cuts before the pain became unbearable. It stung, but that was the point. Being able to control the pain on the inside by focusing even more pain on the outside.

A few weeks later, I was changing for gym, and when I came out of the stall I was wearing a short sleeved shirt that exposed my marks. No one would ask me about them I was sure. Most of them wouldn't care, and my one friend in the class normally knew better than to talk to me about things that she hadn't been there for. All my friends learned that last year, when Kyley asked me if my mom could volunteer for the field trip to the baseball game the next week. I blew up at my entire lunch table.

But when I did come out of the stall, Lilly did notice, and appeared to forget about last year's lunch table fiasco.

"What are those?" she asked, nodding her head at my arm as she put her hair in a high ponytail. She was quite plain looking, with wild dark brown hair and hazel eyes. Guys had never noticed her, but she didn't care. She had given up on guys a long time ago, ever since one asked her out in fifth grade on a dare.

"What?" I asked, playing dumb. "Oh, these? I scraped my arm when I fell running. I was trying to get some exercise." I could tell she wasn't buying it. She tilted her head slightly to the right, and raised her eyebrows.

"I've seen scraped arms, Alaska. Scraped arms don't look like that. They're not at the center of your arm either. They're at your elbow. Whatever's really going on, I promise you can tell me. I'm your friend, and that's what friends are for."

I leaned forward. "Fine, but you have to swear not to tell anybody." Lilly stuck out her pinky. With a snort, I took it. "Alright," I hissed. "Fine, a few weeks ago I cut my arms. It was to help me. And it did. So, I'm gonna do it again tonight. You can't stop me."

Lilly's eyes widened to the size of the moon. She looked at my arm again, and her lip began to quiver. Tears welled up in her eyes, and one spilled over the rim. She threw her arms around me, and I hugged her back. She rested her head on my shoulder, and I could feel the tears soaking into my shirt. I didn't mind though. I had just realized that maybe someone did care about me. Even if I didn't. She cared whether or not I was hurt. She was my best friend. She was amazing.

 **Please leave your thoughts in the reviews, and know that you can always talk to me. If you ever need a friend to talk to, just PM me, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. My friend showed me her scars today. It still makes me feel like I'm about to cry. When I think about the people who were mean to her, I start shaking with anger. She is the happiest person I know. And always remember that SOMEONE cares. Even if it's not your "friends" or your classmates, I care.**


	4. A Message of Love

**This story is less to tell a story as it is to tell the world that they're not alone. If anyone ever needs to talk, I'm here for you. Last year, in my health class, I left a note that said that I was thinking about suicide. The health teacher mentioned it at the end of class, and never brought it up again. No one ever found out that it was me, although I'm sure a few people suspected. I had become shier and quieter, at least, to me I did. Maybe no one noticed. No one seemed to notice me except to make fun of me. We had two teams of teachers, and all my friends were on the other team. The two teams had separate lunches as well, so I was perpetually lonely. In Looking for Alaska, it states that a recent loss of a family member could lead to thoughts of suicide. Two years ago, my dog, Abby, died. I was with her when it happened. I will never forget it. Or her. But this story is not about me. It is about my friend, who made the same mistake as young Alaska Young.**

I went home that day, determined to do it again. But I thought of Lilly, crying on my shoulder, and I knew I couldn't. I couldn't hurt her more than she was already hurting for me. She was the only person that I had told. I put the knife back in the drawer in the kitchen and went to my room, curled up on my bed, and cried. Cried for me, for my mother, but most of all, for Lilly, who I had hurt by hurting me. I knew that seeing her like that again, all crushed and broken and torn up, that it would kill me. More definitely than any slip of the wrist ever would. I couldn't hurt her. She loved me enough to cry for me, I couldn't do that to her. I vowed to never do anything that would make her cry, ever ever ever again.

I went and grabbed my phone and texted my boyfriend, Zach. All I said was Hello, but he knew that Hello was code for I need you, please come over. I had been about to break up with him, because I needed the alone space. Then I texted Lilly and said Thank you for today. For understanding me when no one else did and when I thought no one else would want to. I pressed send. Then I settled down to wait for the doorbell to ring.

 **Yesterday, when my friend showed me her scars, she said it was okay, and I sort of yelled at her, saying it wasn't okay, because it wasn't. I will defend my friends from anything, and I will do anything for them but die, because if I'm dead, I can't protect them anymore. I love my friends, not in some weird way, but in the way you love your family and your pets. But, no offense family and pets, but I love my friends more. I know my friend trusts me, because I am the only person she has ever told. Well, emphasis on told. Other people have found out, but not because she told them. Also, just a side note, I picked Zach because there's this really cute guy in my grade, or year if you live in Britain or Ireland, that has light blonde hair and eyes that are such a light blue that it looks like he's blind at times. For instance, when he's staring off into space. He also hates me so...but "Lilly" don't need no boy! Thanks for reading, and please review! And remember, if you need to, you can talk to me! Always!**


	5. Chapter 5

Guess who's getting a new story out soon? If you guessed me, then you're right! If you guessed someone else, sorry, but you're wrong. It's another Warriors story, and it's called The Flight. It's leafbreeze's idea, I'm just the one writing the story. It's about Bird's Flight, an ancient tribe cat, who was taken by an eagle when she was just a kit. When she wakes up, she's in the Clan forest territories. Windclan takes her in, and their leader is...well, read to find out! I'm just saying right now, it's not Windstar, or her successor, Gorsestar. It's a she-cat from later on, but you won't find her in the Dawn Of The Clans arc...


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